The last few weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster of hopes, changed plans, and disappointments for our family. I don't know about you, but for me it seems that the little disappointments can be harder to bear than the big drama situations in life. So this morning, I started the day pretty crabby. I'd just gotten confirmation that our exciting surprise from a few weeks earlier--hubby's unit coming home early from Iraq, by Christmas!!--was now just a cruel miscalculation. As originally planned, he would be gone for a year, coming home sometime next summer. I got the boys ready for school and shared the news, grumbling under my breath about Obama and the audacity of hope and brigade commanders and after-13-years-in-the-Army-you'd-think-I'd-know-better-than-to-get-my-hopes-up! Caleb handled it much more maturely than I, twisting his little face in disappointment for a moment, and then asking if Dad would be home in time for his (Dad's) birthday. "You can make him the best cake!" he said, eyes lighting up, "and we can have a huge celebration!" I told him that sounded great, but I still pouted on the inside that it wasn't the same as Christmas...
After walking Caleb to school, I usually continue walking around our neighborhood for exercise, pounding the sidewalks listening to an iPod loaded with Foo Fighters, Switchfoot, and Seether. Today I decided to try the trails around the lake near my house. We had finally had a break in the rain for several days, so I figured I might be able to complete my walk without mud up to my knees. As I entered the woods at the marina, I pulled out my earbuds and soaked up the quiet of the lake in the morning. And in the whisper of falling leaves, I heard another whisper--"You can't keep your eyes on the things of God until you take them off the things of man." In all the stress and emotion and confusion and busyness and planning and....noise lately, I had forgotten to listen for the peace that God always gives me when I finally let him do some talking. That's all He said, by the way, but it was all I needed. I will change my plans...again...but this time I will do so with joy! For God still has my back--I just forgot that for a little while. I kept walking, finishing my loop around the lake and soaking up the gift of peace. I took some pictures on my walk, so if you're in need of a little peace today, come walk with me...
Christmas this year may be a little bittersweet, but I will try to remember and hold on to today. Six more months of walking through these woods is hardly something to complain about! And, just for good measure, I tried to capture the sound of my walk this morning to share (the "rushing" sound is actually the stream flowing under the bridge I'm on, though in the video it sounds like recording noise). Please bear in mind that this was three miles in, and I was squatting down on a gravel path, so my videography skills leave much to be desired. Maybe just close your eyes and listen....:)
